January 18, 2007

The time machine listbox.

More listbox laughs. I've talked about interesting listboxes before, but this latest one combines really poor geography and history in a single list. In fact, some of the listings here pre-date DOS, the Internet, and probably DARPA itself. Definitely Fedex. Hell, maybe even the postal service for some of them. See what I mean:

My mate is trying to fill in a web form. Wait, where's South Africa in the country list? Huh? This is what's listed instead:
(To some our geographically-challenged North American friends, South Africa is south of France :)

Here's more information on 'where' Transkei is, and what happened to SWA.

But it gets better. Where's Zimbabwe?

Digging around the list comes up with these hints:
.
And ladies and gentlemen, step into my time machine: .

Wtf is Nyasaland you ask. Good question.

Oh, by the way, the site sells iPod covers, great product. But really odd reg. forms.

Posted by sdehaast at 6:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 8, 2005

Herd this one lately..?

This email has been around the block a couple of times, but it is still really funny. Here's my updated-technology version of it :)

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture in the Klein Karoo, when suddenly a brand-new GP-registered BMW X5 advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Hugo Boss suit, Gucci shoes, Diesel sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Sony Vaio notebook computer, connects it to the internets via his Vodafone 3G card. He surfs to a Google Earth Pro page, where he calls up the relevant page using coordinates fed from the built-in BMW GPS satellite navigation system via Bluetooth, to get an exact fix on his location. He then feeds to another Google API websourcing app that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop Elements and uploads it to an outsourced image processing facility in Hydrabad, Inda.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Nokia that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his other Blackberry (because it has a better J2ME client) and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on award-winning Samsung circular printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into back of the X5.

Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the shepherd.

"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my business.

"Now give me back my dog."

Posted by sdehaast at 12:14 PM

May 21, 2005

Finding new verticals in the portal business

I was looking for NGK Ceramics' website the other day, and typed in ngk.co.za. Being in SA, of course the first thing that I saw was the NGK Church's site. But then I noticed it was made by ereligion. Curious, I went digging a bit deeper.

But the funniest thing I saw was the listbox of other religious sites:

It seems that in cyberspace, we can all co-exist side by side! Ha. This is a great business.

Posted by sdehaast at 6:30 PM | Comments (1)

May 18, 2005

Oh this is funny

The guys at DivisionTwo have some quite original takes on parady. This is from one author's parodic(?) reviews on Amazon.com:

Caring for Your Miniature Donkey by Bonnie R. Gross
Edition: Paperback
Price: $36.95
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours

1 used from $81.58

5 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
thought-provoking, pragmatic advice, November 27, 2004
This is an excellent book, and a most welcome read after the disastrous experiences I had with my first 3 miniature donkeys. Poor creatures. I'm only thankful that this wonderful edition has helped me prolong the life expectancy of my current miniature donkey, Gerhardt. Donkies are not something you can just buy to play with and show off to your friends, and then leave unattended with a pet monkey for days on end.

One minor qualm I have is how Gross fails to mention the calamities involved in allowing a pet monkey to ride a miniature donkey. Be forewarned - this is not a good thing to do!

The most obscure stuff!

Even funnier is their review of the Powerbook G5 and Musician Fiona Apple being sued by Apple for Trademark Infringement

Posted by sdehaast at 5:39 PM

March 27, 2005

Tokenism

Ha! Had a good chuckle when I saw this at the Cape Town Jazz Festival on the weekend:

Token Booth? As in token player? Even concession stands are not immune to AA it seems.

('Scuse the cameraphone quality, but it's a pic of a stand selling drink tokens for use at a bar elsewhere in the centre).

Posted by sdehaast at 11:57 AM

February 25, 2005

Bush. Weed. Same thing really...

From Metafilter

"CBS is reporting that George W. Bush acknowledged using marijuana during a recorded phone conversation. The conversations were recorded by Doug Wead, a former aide to George W. Bush's father, beginning in 1998, when Mr. Bush was weighing a presidential bid, until just before the Republican National Convention in 2000."

You're kidding. Doug Wead!?

Posted by sdehaast at 11:07 PM | Comments (2)

February 9, 2005

Mac Mini

Finally someone who sees through the Apple RDF.

[warning: parody alert]

Posted by sdehaast at 12:59 AM